


Nurturing

by Unimpairable



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Dark God!Ryan, Humor, baby care, minecraft au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-17 23:03:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7289560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unimpairable/pseuds/Unimpairable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan is a powerful creature but he is far out of touch with humanity despite his many boyfriends. When a baby shows up on the human's doorstep, Ryan winds up temporarily watching over the infant as they build a baby room. Surely such a powerful god can handle such a simply task, right? </p><p>Prompt: "Dark God!Ryan trying to be human? >:)"</p><p>Request tumblr: http://unimpairablediscord.tumblr.com/</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nurturing

Ryan was a king. No, he was an overlord. A demonic monster that had ruled over the world for thousands of years before the kingdoms no longer bowed to his will. He was a demi-god, a creature that could summon storms with mere thoughts and kill humans with a wave of his hand. He could speak without opening his mouth, address hundreds at once with a dominating voice and he had mastery over the simplest of elements. Monsters flocked to him and respected him. He was feared but he was also loved. 

Loved by the five humans that had cared for him when a vile coven of witches had tried to kill him. Ryan was immortal but he was not beyond pain. He had no healing magic and thus had to suffer each wound as it cured naturally. The humans found him nestled in the caves under their village and groaning softly as he was stabbed with the awful pains. They carried him to the surface, made him and bed and fed him proper food while they tended to his wounds. He had stayed to return the favor and grant them power and wealth beyond their imagination. 

He fully intended to leave when his debt was repaid but instead he found them asking for a new favor. A hand, his hand, in marriage. The concept was trivial to him but he humored them. He liked them and they claimed to love him. Ryan did not think he was capable of such an emotion and yet they respected that all the same. 

He loved to talk to the older ones, Jack and Geoff. Hear their stories and watch with amusement as they stared in awe at his powers. He loved to build alongside them and help create their imagination. He could form chemicals they never knew existed and it made their worlds expand. The younger ones would often invite him to play and he feared that he was too strong for them. They didn't care. They joked with him as though he was simply one of them. He did enjoy that. 

Though many a night he would spend alone. He did not need sleep though he could accept it if need be. He would walk through the night air staring up at the stars in wonder, sometimes he would fly. He spent it alone either way. His humans needed their rest and he would have to deal with it. 

It was one morning when he returned from his walk, sailing down from the clouds with ease and gently touching the carpeted surface below, when he heard a faint crying from one of the buildings his humans rested in. He turned towards it curiously and made his way indoors to find the five humans now huddled together. Geoff had a wrapped object in his arms, bouncing it about and cooing softly as he smiled. He looked up, saw Ryan and beckoned the demon over. 

"Hey dude, come look at what we found at our door today!" 

Dude wasn't a word Ryan really could comprehend but it was often used to address them. He ventured forward, curiosity getting the better of him and he peered into the blanket. What stared back at him was an infant human, brown skin, black eyes and hair. It gurgled softly, smiling at the god who took a step back almost immediately. The humans laughed at his reaction but he was in a way frightened. 

"It must leave." He said and they looked to him confused. He held up his hands, sighing as if this was an easy explanation. "It needs it's mother's milk and if it has our scent she will not take it back!" They were laughing at him harder and Geoff shook his head. 

"Okay, so Ryan knows nothing about babies apparently." 

If there was one thing the demi-god hated it was when the humans mocked his intelligence. He was very wise and smart, his knowledge spanning the test of time and from countless journeys. He had seen many worlds compared to them and the very thought of being treated as such a fool had his blood boiling. "I most certainly do!" He protested and black magic was visible around the corners of his eyes. "I know a great deal! Far more than you!" 

"Oh is that so?" Geoff smirked back at the demon and Ryan felt the area where his human like heart would be sink promptly. "Then you can take care of it while we build him a proper bed!" 

"Geoff, don't torture the baby." Jack laughed but Ryan just snarled in response before stepping forward and going to take the baby from the oldest human at arm's length. 

The humans stared at him with amused smiles and the demon just scowled before waving his hand dismissively in their direction. "Carry on!" He demanded and they dispersed before he could get any angrier. Jack had left him a few supplies however and Ryan was casting a glance down at the bags before looking about the intricate home that the human Jeremy loved so much. "Very well then..." 

He sat the infant down on the floor, huffing and gestured a finger at it warily. "You! Human! Stay!" He waited, making sure it didn't move and turned on his heel to start walking away. Before he got far, a loud wailing picked up behind him and he cringed. When he turned back he could confirm that it was indeed coming from the tiny human and he scowled as he walked over. "Cease that infernal racket! You'll wake the dead and I'm hardly hungry!" 

The baby didn't stop crying however and he looked around before finally going to pick it up again. He held it with the same distaste as before, at arm's length as he sighed angrily. "...humans show compassion to their offspring, if I recall." He tried to force a smile, fanged teeth baring in an ominous manner. "There. There. It will be alright. Your existence is meaningful and you will most likely not be devoured by a pack of wolves in your sleep." He waited for a reaction but the baby just continued to cry. "DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR OWN NATIVE LANGUAGE?!" 

The yell seemed to make the child cry louder and he leaned his head back with a defeated sigh. "Perhaps you are defective. I should dispose of you to benefit your species." He drew the infant close to his side, teleporting them out into the sky where they now hovered thousands of feet into the air. Ryan was prepared to drop the baby but almost instantly it was silent. He thought for a moment that his magic had done the trick without his know how but as he held the child up, he noticed it had just quieted down to observe it's surroundings. 

"Ah, you show intelligence. A need for survival. You seemed to have realized that you were about to be destroyed and have come to your senses. Very well, we shall endure this interaction longer." He teleported them back down into the building and now a new sound was escaping the baby. 

A giggle. A rare thing he mostly heard from the one human called Gavin and it was supposed to be an expression of joy. Like laughter, only far calmer. He held it upward, above his head to further study the giggling child. "...why does my magic amuse you?" 

The baby reached out for him and he drew it in closer curiously. He wondered what it could possibly want. Perhaps to communicate but the moment it was close enough to his face it was latching onto his hair and tugging on it roughly. Ryan grunted, mostly surprised and hissed a warning at the child. 

"Do not manhandle a god!" He commanded but the baby was instantly crying again. "...oh." The demon paused, looking the child over. "...I see, you manipulate other humans by making this noise until they comply with your demands! I am far stronger willed than any human. You shall not accomplish this feat so easily." He watched the baby for a moment longer, studied the movement of the child's mouth and he hissed low in his throat. 

"I see, you are showing clear signs of needing nourishment as well. I am not possessing a female body nor am I keen of rewriting this information to suit your benefit. None of the humans here are males." Now he paused, head tilting back at the door. "...is that why they are so keen on keeping you? They are not capable of reproducing without a female." He thought for a moment, summarizing the human population in a matter of seconds as his brain ran over details. 

"...the humans substitute their females with cows." Now he teleported again, this time to his own somewhat of a residence. It was a mere dirt house but he didn't need luxury when he could summon anything at his finger tips. He was more interested however in the hole occupying his floor. Beneath the glass was a female cow whom he lovingly called Edgar. No one needed to understand his need for such a beast. He wouldn't explain it. 

Simply he opened the glass and lowered the child safely to the iron floor just beside the cow. He waited, arms folded behind his back as he stared ahead. He heard a human call for him and he called back. Michael, another young one, was racing in to greet him. The bear skinned man opened his mouth to ask a question but then froze when he noticed the lack of infant on Ryan's person. 

"...Ryan, where's the baby." 

The two looked towards the hole simultaneously. 

"...Ryan, why is the baby in the hole." 

"I am nurturing it's growth." 

"...you put the baby in the hole...you put the baby in Edgar's hole-GEOFF!" Michael was screaming, racing out of the building and Ryan just shrugged his shoulders and turned back to facing his previous direction. He heard multiples screams and felt a rush of air as the humans barged into his house and demanded he release the infant from the "prison". 

Ryan didn't see what the big deal was, they wanted him to care for it and he was simply feeding it. Nonetheless he obeyed, levitating the infant back out of the hole and everyone was sighing with collective relief. 

"Ryan, you can't put babies in holes! Especially with giant farm animals that could crush them!" Geoff was explaining and noticed the confused expression on the demon's face. "...babies can die very easily!" 

"...ah. I was simply providing it a milk substitute." 

"Good god Ryan, we have milk for it already! It was in the bag we gave you!" 

"I was not made aware of that fact." 

 

Ryan was being "grounded" as the humans called it. He was not allowed to go near the infant until they were content with his punishment. Jack was now holding the baby, feeding it through the bottle they had fashioned while Ryan stood a distance away watching. When the infant was done with it's milk, Jack was patting it's back before placing it on his hip and bouncing lightly as they walked around. 

When his curiosity could no longer take it, the god was stepping forward to ask a question. "Why are you doing that?" 

"...what?" Jack asked at first but noticed where the red eyes looked. "Oh! The bouncing? It keeps the baby calm. Being moved and stuff keeps them from crying." He watched Ryan tilt his head further and he chuckled. "Not that you would understand it. You were never a baby right? Here." Jack moved to pass over the infant despite the grounding they had placed on the demon and once more Ryan was holding it awkwardly. "Keep him close to you, they like being close to people and do as I did before-okay?" 

The god had trouble at first, mainly because of how stiff he was as he held the child but eventually he managed to mimic Jack far enough that the baby looked relatively calm on his hip. It didn't take long for that scene to be disturbed as a scent caught Ryan's nose and he offered the infant back to Jack. 

"What's wrong?" 

"It has started to decompose." 

"...what?" Jack took the baby, took a whiff and burst into a fit of laughter. "Oh no! Ryan, he just shit himself-it's okay. I have to change him. Want to see how that works too?" He went for Jeremy's house, taking the bag with him and the demon was following in slow strides. They entered and soon the man and toddler were on the floor. 

Ryan was hissing as the baby was undressed from it's diaper. He had a far stronger sense of smell than any of the humans and it hit him strongly. He watched regardless as Jack went through the motions of cleaning the infant and didn't even seem remotely affected by the incident. Once settled in a new diaper and the demon was incinerating the festering remains, Jack was presenting the baby back to the god with a smile.

"Here's clean baby!" 

"...you are strong." Ryan commented, taking it back and resuming the position he had tried before. "You were not affected by the sight nor smell." 

"Oh no, it smelled awful. I'm an uncle to a lot of nieces and nephews however." Jack chuckled and watched as the baby yawned and snuggled it's face into Ryan's chest. "...oh, someone's tired..." 

"...will it survive the night?" 

"Oh jesus Ryan, no need to be so morbid. Little guy just needs a nap. Here we'll go put him in this drawer for now." The demon watched Jack carry the infant over to a clothes drawer and filled it with blankets and soft fabrics. Soon the baby was cradled inside with little hands rubbing at it's eyes. 

"...do they enjoy that?" The god asked as he ventured closer. 

"Well no, I can't imagine...but it will have to do until we have a crib for him." Jack smiled, then reached to pat the demon on the back. "I'll watch over him, go take a walk or something okay? I know you don't like being cooped up." 

Ryan hesitated, frowning and then shook his head. "...I would prefer to stay here and watch." He took in Jack's shocked face but the human let him be and exited. Slowly the demon moved to sit beside the dresser. He folded his legs beneath him and stared off at the wall. Occasionally he'd steal a glance back at the baby but mostly kept his focus forward. 

A noise caught his attention and once more he looked at the infant who gurgled in it's sleep. "...ah yes...you humans dream while you sleep, if I recall. I have visited the dreams of Geoff and Michael. Interesting...may I possibly view yours as well?" 

No answer, he shouldn't have expected one but he was reaching out carefully to touch the forehead of the toddler. He held the touch, magic swirling around his index finger and he closed his own eyes. Dreams were often directly translated to him. He got images and sounds that the humans would experience as well in their slumber. He felt no pain nor emotion from the escapades of the mind but now...now was different. 

He felt something more than he saw. A warmth flooding through his body and a tingling sensation that shivered up his spine. He felt a tug from the pit of his stomach, a lurching that was almost like pain. Softer. More fragile. He felt as though he was facing a glass rose and that if he touched it in even the slightest wrong manner...it would shatter. He wanted to protect the rose, cradle it in his grasp and come back to it often. It was cold and it still had thorns but it bloomed so beautifully. 

He sucked in a breath as he finally drew his finger away and a cold damp feeling dribbled down his right cheek. He reached up instinctively to rub it away and found it to be water. He stared at the droplet on his hand, curious and soon felt another on the opposite of his face. He had seen humans do this before...tears. Something that he had only the smallest of memories of enduring. 

He assumed for a moment that the child had hurt him in some manner but instead he felt...oddly at ease. He breathed in, rubbing away the last of the tears and his lips curled in the softest of smiles. He looked back to the baby beside him, hesitated before moving to draw the blanket closer to the smaller body. 

"...perhaps there is greater truth in the meaning of your existence that I had originally thought."


End file.
